I am going to baby-sit my little red headed Grand Daughter and my "Little Sputnic" Grand Son. Yep, have already made the trip to more than one toy store, grocery store Target and other's, so it is like getting ready for a vacation. It will be a vacation. Roller coaster rides, horse rides, magic shows, bath room breaks, fit throwing, ( Little Red Head is MAJOR Drama Queen). On her last visit, I open the refrigerator to get her milk for her and she stepped in front of me and was looking around. I finally said,
" XXXXXXX, step back, Big Paw needs to shut the door." You would have thought that I shut the door on her HEAD. She threw her head back, opened her mouth until she could have swallowed a grapefruit and commenced to yell loud enough to set off the smoke alarms. Big old crockadile tears streaming. Her momma, my middle Baby, came running.
"What's the matter, Daddy?"
"I told XXXXXXXX that I needed to shut the fridge door." With a quirky smile.
"You should of heard her in Target the other day when I said that it was time to leave." She just shook her head and left the kitchen.
Any "pointers"? I would be glad to hear you comments..
Let her scream. Move her little body gently aside, shut the fridge door and say something to the affect..."Big Paw has some fun games to play with you when you are ready" and engage in other activites while you keep her under surveilance. The only reason they throw tantrums is because they are effective. Take that out of the equasion and they will soon cease.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
Nope, no pointers! Every adult is on their own when it comes to dealing with these tantrums!
ReplyDeleteMy 6yr old grandson was nicknamed Drama King when he was two years old...and still is. Same scenerio, different house! It can be the most insignificant thing that sets it off. My method of dealing with it right now, especially with the four year old, would be to just shut the fridge door, calmly say 'I'm sorry you're upset, but the door can't be kept open that long. If you'll tell me what you want, we'll get it out. Otherwise, the door stays shut.' Then I would calmly walk away and leave the room. Then if he kept screaming, I would calmly say "if you feel the need to keep screaming, please head to your room/hallway/whatever until you're done." If that didn't work, I would take him by the hand, lead him to that spot, set him down, and walk away. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. I tend to be a screamer after a few minutes, so I have to work on not having a tantrum myself! I've actually had quicker results with just walking away. As for tantrums in stores, I guess it depends on how much you've already put in the basket! I've been known to park the basket next to customer service and say that I'll be back after I get the kid under control. If I only have a few things, I will leave. Or ignore them if it's over a toy and leave the area. Whatever you do, do not offer rewards if they'll stop!
Isn't sitting with the grandkids the best thing ever, tantrums and all!!!??? I have got to be one of the luckiest people in the world to see mine almost every day.
I agree...ignore the tantrum; do not reinforce the behavior.
ReplyDeleteOh yes! Ignore! Move her aside, close the door and move on! My daughter is currently in a psych class and is studying learned behavior. When a parent gives in to such behavior, it's called "escape" (as in the parent wants to) and it's a negative reinforcement. Our girl is learning in books what I learned from experience. As a toddler, she was in daycare with a real tantrum kid. One day she came home and flung herself to the ground thinking she'd try one out on me. In spite of her sobs, I stepped over her and walked out to the kitchen. A few minutes later she trotted out, "What's for snack Mummy?" Good luck.
ReplyDeleteIgnoring a screaming fit is really, really hard to do! But, they do have a very short attention span. So walk away Big Paw, just walk away. And, good luck with that! ;-)
ReplyDeleteI have five nephews and they throw tantrums sometimes. They want to see how far they can push before they get their way. I often notice that the largest tantrum is when they are around my mother, their grandmother, who breaks down at the slightest tear. When it happens to me, I speak to them like they are old enough to understand (and they are) and say "I don't think this is the best way of handling a situation. When you settle down and want to talk to me about what you need or how you feel, I will be sitting on the couch waiting to listen. Until then, I am going to leave the room". If they come over and are still crying, screaming, etc. I calmly repeat myself and leave the room. I usually only have to do it once. They then start speaking to me and telling me what they need.
ReplyDeleteI am also not so much in a hurry. If the child is "copying me" by looking in the fridge, I ask questions, like "can you see something red?" can you see something blue?. Then guide them to other places in the room looking for different colors while I close the fridge door.
Or sometimes, I give them two or three choices. We need to 1} shut the door 2) get a glass of XXX or 3) go play a game of XXX. That usually moves it along as well.
Deep breaths, pray for more patience when yours has expired, drink from time to time, contiue shaking head, and love 'em hard when they let you. Er, oh, that was me and mine. Oops. Sorry. I'm sure you're much smarter than me.
ReplyDeletexo
erin
(Have fun!)